I have an ego. We all have egos. An ego is a “person’s sense of self-esteem or self-worth”.
I say it is pride crystallized into our personalities. Well, pride blinds. Pride at the least taints.
I use this tainted understanding of self called the ego as a defense mechanism. That is because I am insecure about who I am as a man. My insecurities tell me I’m not sufficiently smart, strong, capable, or worthy. My insecurities are exacerbated because everyone in the world has an ego that forces them to put on a facade that THEY are these worthy things. And the insecurity of my ego believes the facade of their egos.
This is the way of the world. It’s hard not to be defensive. It’s hard not to have an ego.
Thus, I pray I let go of unnecessary dwelling upon a lack of self-worth, and the pain attached to it. I pray I rise above natural tendencies that make stronger egos, which ultimately cause conflict and harm. I pray I don’t act with anger and other unedifying emotions when someone’s ego tries to demean me. Such reactions only further crystallize my ego into my personality.
This is not the way of Jesus Christ. He told us to love our neighbors as ourselves. He even told us to love our enemies. Such love is unnatural. It is one of the hardest things ever sought. I look back upon my past actions, and see where ego guided my reactions, and thus see how far I am from this ideal.
Yet, God sees this gulf in all men. He knows our sinful, our imperfect, natures cause us to fall short of the ideal of a man. And we are forgiven for this. Our Heavenly Father loves us and wants to see us rise above the morass. We are a constant work in progress. We’re to keep our eyes on the prize.
It’d be nice to remember this always. It’d be nice if such remembrance always cooled my hot temper, and caused me to be ever understanding in the face of ego-threatening circumstances. Thus, I pray to God for precisely this. After all, his power can supply my lack to make this ideal reality.
I have no doubt that I would be a better man if I prayed to God more often. The world would be a better place too if more men and women did this. But the impulse to such prayer starts with the humility of the recognition that we are sinners, that we are imperfect. Recognition of this imperfection is precisely what the ego endeavors to avoid. Recognition of imperfection only exacerbates feelings of low self-worth.
Thus, many men won’t do this. They are seduced by vanity; they are strengthened by pride; they feel justified in wrath; so on and so forth. Such a lack of humility, such a lack of basic introspection, to see sin will keep the world going as it is.
And this will lead to the events of the Apocalypse. It must come. But so must Christ’s return. And he will. And the day will be glorious. And there will be grace.
Or do you reject Christ? Do you reject that you are a sinner? Do you reject that you are not beholden to pride too? Ego too?